Standing In The Way Of Control
by BubblesBlossomButtercup
Summary: A collection of Effy's thoughts,more of insight into how the mysterious teen's mind could potentially work. Has a bit of everyone in it.
1. Chapter 1

**Standing in the way of control**

Year 13 it is then.

Seems like its gonna be a good year. Lot of eighteenth parties, fucking up your whole entire life in just a few exams. Sounds...exhilarating.

And there it is...that familiar school smell, books and sex-fused adolescents, interesting combination.

I walk past the beauty tech lot, rolling my eyes at their dirty looks and sniggers. They just turned mean after they realised they couldn't screw my big brother just by knowing me. And that I really wasn't interested in going blonde.

Not that I care. Girls just don't seem to like me. And I'm guessing their sniggering at at least one of the rumours about me that generated during the past 12 months.

I'm not really looking forward to seeing the people who accumulated around me last year. I can't remember if they're pissed at me or not. I know, Freddy is after the ...ahem...incident a couple of weeks ago. I'll explain later, if you're lucky. Right now I have the issue of remembering my timetable, and where did I put it?

I dump my bag on the floor and rifle around in it.. Ah! There's the fucker. Before, I have a chance to get back up I hear a voice behind me I'd rather not have to ever hear, ever.

"Ah, Effy...that's the arse that brightens up my morning,"

I look up at Cook with absolute distain and pointlessly pull my cheek-revealing dress down a little...a little. He's not allowed to see my arse, again. No way.

"Fuck off Cook, yeah,"

"I see you've become a lot less friendly since you've been shagging Freddy, bad influence he is, he should really teach you some manners,"

Just a middle finger would do. And a haughty strut away.

English.

Or fag?

English or fag?

Quite an easy decision.

Changing direction, I begin to walk out front, to the car park. Fumbling for the packet of cigarettes in my jacket pocket. Light a fag, relief.

A red car pulls up close by and two people get out. Girl and a guy. I don't know him, must be new. He's tall, stupidly tall, but not in a gawky way. He's fucking hot actually, got muscles and all that. Looks a bit older, I like the stubble.

Slight problem, he's got a little missus. Hm, I don't know if I know her. Vaguely familiar face. Blondish, one of those annoyingly sexy girls. Those ones that aren't supposed to be. Like, right now she's looking up at buff dude, her crescent-shaped eyes crinkling at the edges as she smiles. It makes her whole face shine. You must know what I mean. One of those really innocent faces, so innocent it just needs to be tainted. And any guy with a working cock and balls between their legs wants to taint it. He must be. He must be, really hard, almost every night...

But like I said, she's only a slight problem.

They walk past me. Annoyingly, he isn't attracted to my gaze. He's too busy looking at the prospectus. Fuck, I'll get him next time. Once he looks, I'm pretty certain he'd be hooked.

She notices though, she gives me an uncomfortable glance. Why does she have to look so cute all the time? Funnily enough, I get to thinking as I finish of my fag, she's like the me of a parallel universe or whatever. The exact opposite to me if there every was one, my negative. Or more like she'd probably be the positive.

Right, lingered more than I meant to. Just over half hour of English left to go. Better late than never.

Try to slink in, next to Naomi, but it isn't the nutcase teacher we had last year. They get fired so often you know. It's a new teacher, and this one apparently notices her students.

So I make up an excuse. Something along the lines of saving a baby from a fire, likely. Then I sit down, and scan the room. Freddy's there, just left of opposite to me. He's purposely not looking at me. I can see his jaw clenching with the effort not to.

I feel kinda sad, just at that moment. I have to look away.

Hang on, 3 seats behind me is that girl from the car park. She's in my English and I never really noticed her before. Shows how much I pay attention to only what I want. I stare at her more purposefully. She doesn't even feel the heat of my gaze. Just carries on scribbling away in a notepad. I see now, she must have just always had her head in a book. Perhaps, I hadn't ever got to see the full curiousness of her face before.

Naomi mention something about 'everyone' meeting up tonight, near the subway, apparently there's a rave nearby and they're intending on crashing it. Kind of a way of celebrating the beginning of a new school year, huh.

I said, 'I'll think about it.'

***

Went into the canteen at lunch, bought a fruitpot, sat by myself. Pandora wasn't in today, off with Thomas somewhere I think.

Watch as slowly the hall fills up. I feel like a shark, watching the little schools of fishes dart pass, averting my gaze, scared to be trapped.

JJ's a silly little fishy. He comes and sits beside me. I just stare at him, watch him getting a bit uncomfortable before he blurts out what he really wants to say.

"I think you should talk to Freddy, I really do," at my non-responsive face, he continues, "You really hurt him, but I'm sure he'd forgive you if you just talked to him."

I still don't respond. Something catches the corner of my eye. Freddy walks in with Katie. He's holding her bag. She's talking animatedly to him. In her silly, slutty Katie way.

"I think he's fine, JJ,"

JJ looks where I am and catches the scene. Looks back at me and pulls a face, I think. I'm not really paying attention. I'm trying to catch Freddy's eye.

There you go, got it. I give JJ a smirk and very obviously move my hand up his leg towards his crotch. He splutters, immediately turns red.

Freddy opens his mouth in surprise slightly. Then, he catches my smirk and his brow furrows into an intense frown. He puts his arm round Katie's shoulder, whispers something to her, she giggles. He stares deliberately back at me.

I lean towards JJ, nibble his ear slightly, just how Freddy likes it.

"Eff...Effy. What are you doing?" JJ pulls away a little. He looks incredibly flustered right now.

Freddy scowls harder, and result, comes marching over. "Effy, I can't believe your acting like this!"

JJ scarpers.

I just scowl at him. I quite like it when he gets angry. He looks kind of sexy. He takes this self-righteous stance, and his eyes sort of glisten. And, my god, his jaw clenching. That perfect jaw. Beautiful.

He's right up close to me now. I knew he'd burst some point today.

"Why are you doing this to me?! Explain what you want from doing this? It was going so well..." his voice echoes across the canteen. For a second I think he's going to shake me or something.

I just continue to stare, hoping, really hoping that my face has managed to stay composed.

He becomes aware of all the eyes focused on him. Sighs. Drops his shoulders.

His voice quietens down so that is barely murmur, "Can you just not play games, for once."

But that's what I do. I play games.

I get up. Purposefully, slowly. He holds my gaze. The fact I haven't said a word does not deter him at all. I hate how he knows what to expect from me, but I like how he hopelessly still expects something else all the same.

My face is inches from his now. He's not sure what I'm going to do but holds himself, he's good at that. You know what- I'm not sure what I'm going to do either.

Okay. This.

I avert my gaze and push past him. Walk away. Don't look back. Leave him standing there. Everyone staring. Let him feel a bit silly, a bit stupid. He can go back to Katie if he wants.


	2. Chapter 2

I go to the field out back. Light up another fag, scan the landscape. Groups of students dotted here and there. I really need something to take my mind off Freddy, anything.

I know where Cook will be. Either at his uncles or off buying some sort of drug for tonight. I could...just ring him, you know.

Maybe, he's too risky to be an anything. Then again, I like risky.

I get my mobile out and just as I begin to ring I notice something. Now, this is a better game to play. Might be more fun, more interesting. I can ring Cook anytime.

I hang up and begin to make my way towards the tree. Towards the 'loving' couple. Ha!

It's that girl and boy again and my cruel streak makes me feel like victimizing them. I don't really know why to be truthful. Maybe I'm jealous that they give off the persona that they are so content. Maybe I just want to toy with that a little.

I lean against the tree trunk, uncomfortably close, lazily dragging on my cigarette. They both look up at their intruder. I look back, "Want a smoke?"

"Um, no thanks. I don't." She answers. I can't say I am terribly surprised. She looks away.

He's still staring. I very slowly, very deliberately lick across my top lip. He frowns and looks away as well. Oh, I like a little challenge.

"I'm Effy."

This must be almost the most I have ever spoken in my life.

Only the girl looks up this time. I think I'm starting see a bit of annoyance creeping upon her features, but it's hard to tell.

"I know who you are. My big sister gave your brother a blowjob once, I walked in on it. Wasn't pleasant."

"Oh,"

"Take it you don't know who I am. Carmen. He's Daniel. He's new,"

He speaks, "Was it Kayleigh that did that? Glad she's fucked off to uni, annoying slag."

"Hey that's my sister, do you mind," she snaps, then she smiles, "Only I can say she's annoying slag."

I leave them to it for a bit, finish off smoking, contemplating how will I trap these new toys?

Riiight, next move.

"There's a rave going on down near the subway tonight. We're bringing some weed, some pills, you know. Wanna come? I'll meet you there about eleven?"

"Um...maybe. Why not?"

You'd be surprised, my lovely. Good answer.

***

I meet up with Panda after school, she natters on and on about her wonderful day of 'Thomas Love'. I tell her about the rave. I don't tell her who I've invited.

She seems keen but gives me a really wide-eyed look. "What if Freddy's there?"

"So?"

"Wouldn't it be awkward?"

"No."

She's quiet for a bit and then starts to talk about 'whizzer' pair of leggings that she got the other week and that she plans on wearing them, almost definitely.

I tune out a bit.


	3. Chapter 3

Me and Panda focus upon the fuzzily familiar faces loitering around the subway. Naomi and Emily are looking quite disgustedly at Cook whilst he prances around, imitating something that resembled one of those Russian dances. JJ standing at the sidelines, laughing a little. Nothing unusual there.

We walk towards them, giggling and stumbling, the bottle of vodka limply swaying in my hand.

"Hellooo ladies!" Cook stands with his legs spread apart, chugging away on a bottle of Jack Daniels, a joint in the other hand. He amuses me, in his buttoned up polo and dirty joggers.

I find myself looking desperately around for Freddy. Don't be silly, I distract myself by taking a puff from Cook's spliff.

"You got more?"

"Sure do, babes."

I ignore the last part of his sentence, take one off him, swig some of my vodka, pass it to Panda.

Naomi and Emily are looking all coupley and cuddely. Pfft, alright for some. Emily's grinning away like a Cheshire cat. Life seems perfect for her at the minute. "Hey, Effy! Is it alright if we meet you in there. Katie keeps ringing us, her and... Freddy, um, are already inside."

"Whatever," I give her a slight smile. Evidence that I don't care, not one bit.

"Naomiiii, Emily, do some private tongue action...just for me," Cook follows them as they stumble away, "Come on, Gay Jay," JJ follows him submissively.

I share my spliff with Pandora, she asks what we waiting for. I say, "I invited some people to come along,"

"0h whizzer, that sounds like a laugh. New people! Are they nice Effy?"

"Very nice."

Takes them a few minutes to arrive. I half thought they weren't going to. He's dressed reasonably casual, she's wearing a little black number, a bit shimmery. They trot over to us, stone cold sober, clearly.

"Oh, it's Carmen," Pandora smiles. I look at her sharply, wondering if it's only me that doesn't know everyone in our year yet. "She sings in the band that play at the college's talent evening every year."

Oh, I wouldn't have gone near that, ever.

They reach us. She smiles shyly, his face is emotionless, even when I give him a sultry gaze. He's good at that, and she's too daft to even interpret my looks.

"I'll pick you up when you're ready for me, just ring. And make sure you're with someone at all times," he kisses her on the top of her head, "You look beautiful, have a good night,"

"You sound like my dad," she giggles and kisses him back. And with that he saunters off, back towards his car. I wasn't expecting that.

"Hiiiiii Carmen!" Panda gives her a warm- natured goofy grin.

She smiles nervously, pulls her short dress down a little.

Well, that's disrupted my plans. Still, I have one toy left, and I best make the most out of it.

Cook comes thudding back up the path towards us. "Effy, Panda, Hurry the fuck up!"

He screeches to the halt when he spots the new addition. "Woaah, check this thing out," He crudely looks her up and down. She fumbles with the hem of her dress even more. Seems it's not just me who doesn't recognise people from college. But I would have expected it from Cook, his head is so far up his arse.

"Lay off Cook." I warn, I beckon Carmen to follow. I give her the bottle of vodka. She gulps some of it down which makes me smile a little, I half expected her to sip it or something. Cook's still gawping at her like an absolute twat. He loves anything new. Anything he hasn't had a taste of yet.

I take some weed from him. "Smoke some of this," I instruct. She takes it curiously. Splutters a little, looks at me a bit perplexed. I was right, it is really riveting tainting her.

Right, new plan, let's get her really wrecked, and let Cook loose on her. That will be interesting for when Daniel picks her up.

"So, how come Daniel's not coming?" I ask, widening my eyes innocently.

"He has to look after his mum," she said, still eyeing the joint apprehensively between puffs.

"How come?"

"Oh, that's the reason he's come to our school, really. He went private school before. His dad is mega rich, but he went off with some Swedish secretary, and left them with nothing. His mum had a mental breakdown, so he has to look after her now,"

Seems like everyone has a fucked up family nowadays.


End file.
